Children are inquisitive by nature. When they are younger, its usually because they want to better understand something. When they are older, its because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Regardless of their age, its imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.
Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why its important that they be home from their friends home at a certain time or why they arent allowed to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks Why? or Why not? when they are told they cant play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule youve set forth, simply explain to them that because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you. You should avoid using the term, Because I said so, as that only adds to the childs frustration and confusion.
Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation. When they question Why? or Why not? its best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning. I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentists office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we cant be late. It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. If you are not home by 10 p.m., youll be grounded from going to your friends house for a week. Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.
Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker. So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize its their way of understanding their world around them.