You can plan your wedding and your reception in great detail, but you do not have to do much about wedding ceremony planning if you do not want to do so. However, those that plan in detail also want to make sure the wording and the events of the ceremony are what they want them to be. Planning these things does not mean you are a control freak, as this is where the vows come into play. Many couples have very specific ideas about what they want and that is okay. It is, after all, when they pledge to live their lives with and for each other forever.
You can plan where you are going to have your ceremony, but some leave the vows and the sequence of events up the the person who will marry them. You do not have to do this, but if you like what they do, there is no reason to change what works for you. If you have some things you would like to change, talk to your official to see where they may be willing to allow you to make some changes. If they do not budge, and you must have some things different, you may have to find someone else and do your own wedding ceremony planning with them.
Once you know you can make changes, start with the thing that probably means the most to you your vows. Your official should have examples from which you can choose, and even among them, you can change a few words here and there so that your vows are exactly as you like them. You can even go about writing your own and the putting a few already written and very traditional parts in there if you wish. This part of your wedding ceremony planning is totally up to you. Many couples are leaving 'obey' out of the vows, so think about each part and have the wording what you both agree fits you as a couple.
You can also plan how and when you want your wedding party to enter and exit the ceremony, and then how you want to do the same. Some places are better fits for better types of processions. This is something you can discuss with your wedding official. See what your options are and what they feel works best with the ceremony you are working on building. If you have a few options, leave them open until rehearsal. That way you can walk everyone through your options to decide what you like the most. This works well with most wedding ceremony planning.
Remember that though wedding ceremony planning can be important, there are times when you should be flexible with your official. If you are having a Catholic wedding, for example, there are things they must do to make it a Catholic ceremony, and you may not have much leeway. On the other hand, some have been doing weddings for so long that they know what works well in their building and they may strongly recommend a few things. Always be willing to listen, even when the ultimate decision will be up to you. They may know a thing or two that could really make you happy.