Friday, March 20, 2015

Are Your Friends Causing Your Marriage Problems?

Your friends are important to you for many reasons. They are the ones that are there for you when you have a bad breakup, or when you just need someone to listen. They often come to your aid, remember your birthday, and have the guts to tell you things that others hold back. However, after you have left single dating life behind, they may not be happy if they are still single and you are not. In fact, some friends have been huge sources of marriage problems in otherwise great unions. At times, you may have to cut friends free.

You can never blame marriage problems on anyone but you or your spouse, but you should know that your friends can influence you in bad ways if you let them. This means that you have changed and they have not, but you still try to have the same relationship with them as you did before. Your friends can also have bad habits and they can influence you to have them too. Once you are around something for so long, you start to think that it is normal and you may do it to. This can lead to huge marriage problems if you are not careful.

Some people in marriages find that they don't care to leave the single life behind. They cheat on their spouse, or at least put a show on of doing just that. It could be that they married too young, or that they need that ego boost because they have low self esteem. If your spouse is hanging out with people that are doing this all the time, they are more likely to do it too. Even the best spouses can slip up under the influence of friends behaving badly. If your wife or husband is hanging out with questionable people, talk to them about how it makes you feel and about your concerns that it could lead to marriage problems for the two of you.

If your friends are not sure about your spouse and say subtle things to put them down, this can weigh on your mind after a while and cause marriage problems. You may not even know they are doing it, and they may not understand that they are hurting your marriage. They may be envious of your relationship or they may want their single friend back because they are still single themselves. These are dangerous friends, even if they do not mean to be. If you find that this is going on, you have to tell them that you do not like what they are saying, and unless they have a good reason for saying something, they should keep their feelings to themselves.

If you feel that your friends are causing marriage problems for you and your spouse, you have to put your marriage first. Tell them that you can not go out with them if they are intent on picking someone else when their spouse is at home. Tell them that you have to put your marriage first even if it means losing them. Most of your friends are going to be understanding and may even suggest that they are having a hard time adjusting to the change, but also that they will work on it. Others won't care about your marriage problems, and if that is the case, it is time to cut them loose.