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Friday, March 20, 2015

Marriage advice you can pin on the frig for quick access!

As with children, marriage does not come with an instruction book. Every couple is unique, consisting of two people who fell in love and tied the knot. Whether you've been married for just a year, or have been together for twenty years, there are some basic points that sometimes get overlooked, with unhappy results. We've put together a short list of basic marriage advice that covers most of the situations that create the ups and downs of (almost) every marriage. When you have a situation developing that threatens the overall happiness of your marriage, a quick review of this list can get you back on track. Yes, we mean it stick this on the frig with a magnet shaped like a heart, for easy access.

It's easy to forget, somewhere along the line, that a successful marriage requires that you work as a team. One spouse may start taking things for granted that were never taken for granted during the courtship period. Maybe your husband always did the hard jobs, like digging the garden bed or hauling the trash cans out to the street on pickup day. Then, one week he caught a cold and you stepped in to do one of these chores. Soon, it became your regular task. Similarly, a wife can shift some responsibility she normally did off to her husband. This type of thing can snowball over time, creating discord and resentment.

Our next bit of basic marriage advice? Be supportive of your spouse. Your spouse got a traffic ticket and your auto insurance went up. Things happen. Don't rail at him, bringing it up every time you're disgruntled. You may hit a light post and wreck the car tomorrow.

Now, this marriage advice item bears mentioning simply because it's so common. Both men and women are guilty of nagging their spouse over issues that really don't matter much. For example, asking your spouse ten times if they will take the trash out can be extremely annoying. In this case, just do it yourself. Don't be a nag!

Cultivate the practice of exercising kindness and compassion with your spouse. This is sound marriage advice for everyone. After all, we all need it at critical times. Avoid mean-spirited remarks and spitefulness. They do nothing for the health of your marriage.

One of the most common causes of divorce is the finances. Couples will fight over how money is spent, not spent or mismanaged. Make the budget and financial matters a joint effort, so there's no need to fight over who did or didn't do what with money.

A successful marriage involves give and take, making compromises when necessary. You are individuals, each with your personal quirks. Learn to accept your differences graciously. Nobody's perfect. Viva la difference!

Another healthful bit of marriage advice for you: be willing to sacrifice for your spouse if the need arises. If he gets laid off from work, step up to the plate. Get a temporary job, revise the budget, or do whatever it takes to take the pressure off him. This works both ways.

Here's our last item of marriage advice that really captures the essence. When things get tough, reviewing your marriage vows can get you right back on track. Remember how you felt when you said, For better or for worse, in sickness and in health ... You certainly took those vows to heart when you married. Keep on keepin' on and you'll have a happy marriage.